


Bigger than these bones

by liyumpeyn



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Adoption, Basically they adopt two kids and its little stories about the first six months, M/M, Sadly not too happy with this but i hope its okay, dad!louis, dad!zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-17 21:22:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4681922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liyumpeyn/pseuds/liyumpeyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>She insists she looks like a duck, teaching Dylan to jump into the muddy sludge puddles outside, quacking away as she slips her coat around his shoulders and tells him he needs a coat to be a duck but she doesn't. They squelch around in their wellies until Zayn gets up from where he had been sitting on the back porch and tells them to come inside if they want dinner.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bigger than these bones

**Author's Note:**

  * For [styleslaurent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/styleslaurent/gifts).



From the top of Armrange Hill Louis and Zayn could see everything. The city in front of them was a swarm of lights and smog and the park was bare and black in the darkness of night. The grass below them was dewy, wet seeping into their jeans and becoming all too unpleasant. 

“How do you even know what you’re drawing?” Louis whispers, knocking his shoulder against Zayn’s where they’re packed in tight next to one another on the hill. It’s quiet and still and the only source of light is the moon and yet Zayn is furiously sketching in his sketchbook, fast, light strokes Louis knows to be his happy drawings.

“Because I look at you all the time,” Zayn says simply, bumping his forehead to Louis’ as he lets out a soft _oh_. Louis leaves him alone after that, staring out at the soft bustle of the city kilometres away. He wants so badly to touch Zayn, to kiss the concentrated turn of the corner of his lips and the stress out of his fingertips. He wants to pull Zayn’s sketchbook out of his hands and roll down the hill with him until there’s grass in their hair and they’re laughing as they race each other back up. He doesn’t, just turns his head from the city to Zayn and watches him quickly finish sketching what Louis makes out to be a gentle curl of hair.

“It looks really lovely, Z.” Zayn knows he’s lying because he damn well can’t even see the paper but still turns to Louis with crinkly eyes and a soft smile and nuzzles his face against Louis’, setting his sketchbook gently by his side and placing his hand over Louis’. He squeezes it softly, leaning against Louis and pushing him back into the grass. Louis tips his head back to laugh, throwing his arms back over his head and reveling in the little kisses Zayn presses to his neck and chest.

He likes this Zayn more than art Zayn because it’s raw and unique and only something Louis gets to see. Everyone sees art Zayn, huddled over his sketchbook or furrowing his brow while he graffitis in their livingroom again. Everyone sees the tense muscles and self criticising stare but no-one but Louis sees the gentle smile and loose limbs when Zayn and he hang out in parks at midnight or make 2am trips to the gas station to buy three tubes of pretzels they will later wolf down on a park bench on their way back home.

He likes this Zayn because the stiffness in his hands gets released and his shoulders roll back and he’s gentle with Louis, soft and caring. When Louis had dropped down on his knee almost 2 years ago Zayn had cried his eyes out, blubbering _yes_ into Louis’ neck and then thumping him over the head, muttering _dickhead, of course I’d say yes_. When they’d gotten married Louis had cried more than Zayn had, crying as soon as Zayn began walking up to the altar and not stopping until Zayn pushed him down into the sheets later that night and bruised Louis from head to toe in hickeys. He was quick to call Zayn a “keeper”.

“You excited for tomorrow?” Zayn whispers, landing his full weight on Louis and pushing his face into the warmth of Louis’ neck. Louis brought his arms back down, attempting to tug Zayn further up his body so he was resting his head just beside Louis’. Truth be told he’d almost forgotten about it, too caught up in the city lights and Zayn’s presence to think too much on the inspection day. 

“Very, very excited.” Louis mutters, carding his fingers through Zayn’s hair. 

Earlier on he’d made Zayn a flower crown out of some pale purple flowers he'd found down by the massive spruce trees far down the hill. He spent fifteen minutes pressing his fingernail into the stem and then pushing the stem of another flower through that then pressing his fingernail into the stem of that next flower and pushing the stem of another flower through that until he had made a delicate little crown and balanced it on top of Zayn's hair. When they'd raced each other to the top of the hill it had fallen off Zayns head and they'd very unceremoniously sprinkled them into the wind and watched the pretty petals blow of into the sky. Louis had tucked one last flower behind Zayn's ear, pushing his long hair away from his face and kissing Zayn's lips lightly with a smile.

That flower was still there almost three hours later, wilted yet still nestled tightly behind his ear. Louis plucks it in an instant, brushing it across Zayn's eyelid and down his cheek. Zayn blows at it until it wilts against Louis' hand and Louis flings it away with a laugh, watching it sail through the air and get caught in the harsh wind, to be dragged away into the night sky.

"Getting cold, babe?" Zayn says, holding onto Louis' hand and rolling onto his back so they're side by side. Louis shakes his head, rolling his neck to look over at Zayn who is just staring up at the sky. He's going to miss things like this. Is going to miss the empty and quiet nights they always spend together and the carefreeness of their marriage. Most of all Louis is probably going to miss the amount of love Zayn and he have for eachother. He's not one for sharing. He'll have to learn to make exceptions.

"Do you think too much will change? Like, what if we're not good?" Louis asks softly, thumbing over the back of Zayn's hand.

"Nothing we can't adapt to." Zayn promises, squeezing Louis' hand tightly. They could take on the world like this, hand in hand and unabashedly in love. But Louis thinks of the unmade cot in the spare room and the kids bed sitting in its box in their garage. He thinks of the smell of plastic bottles in their kitchen and the stack of kids superhero pajamas he had delicately folded the day before. He wouldn't mind taking on the world with a few sidekicks.

"You'll be the best." Louis takes it to heart, a little hammer in his chest because he thought marriage would change his life forever and yet here they were on the brink of starting an entirely new chapter in their lives. 

" _We'll_ be the best, Z." Louis corrects, thinking that, if anything, they were a team. Zayn agrees with him with a curt nod, rolling onto his side to look at Louis like the sun shines out of his ass.

"I'm gonna be more fun than you!" Zayn teases, laughing when Louis lets out an offended gasp and pinches his nipple tightly. It's pitch-black but Louis can see the glimmer in Zayn's eyes and the softness to his face and every doubt about the next day goes away.

 

•••

"I'm telling you right now, Lou, we're missing something." Zayn hisses, picking the instruction paper up off the floor. Louis takes it from his head, gripping it furiously and re-reading every instruction.

"There's no-where to put the fucking screw, Zayn. Every hole is, pardon my vulgar language, fucking full!" Louis snaps, picking the extra screw up of the ground and trying to match it to one of the screws on the front page itinerary. He lets out one final cry of "I hate IKEA" before stomping out of the room, throwing both the manual and screw over his shoulder at Zayn. They've both been up since 5, scrubbing the floors and folding clothes until the only thing left by 9am was to put the furniture together. 

When it came down to it Louis was definitely a lot more stressed about the day than Zayn was, flinching away from Zayn in frustration when he was earlier wiping the kitchen bench and messily shoving Zayn's neatly folded clothes into their cupboard when Zayn had been just a minute too late in putting them away himself. 

His hair was a mess and all he was wearing was one sock and a pair of sweats and Zayn was about fed up, eventually dragging him into the bathroom and shoving him in, telling him he wasn't allowed to come out until he had shaved and had a shower. Louis had emerged an hour later, fresh faced and apologising over and over to Zayn until Zayn had leant forward and kissed the apologies away, telling him he just wanted some help with the cot and then they could be done.

Louis had promised no arguments. That had lasted all of half an hour.

"Don't act like an idiot, Lou." Zayn mutters, putting the manual and extra screw in the middle of the finished cot, wandering outside and bumping into Louis who is sat on the floor. "Babe, are you cryin'." Zayn whispers, crouching down in front of Louis' figure. He has his wrists pressed to his eyes, digging the heel of his palm into his eyes and heaving out a breath.

"I look after my sisters so much. And my brother and my friends kids and I love babies and playing with children but, Zayn, they're never _mine_. Z, what if I'm completely different with them? What if I keep fucking up or make stupid mistakes? What if they -" Zayn cuts him off by tugging him into his chest, pressing his head right in and resting his chin on the crown of Louis' hair. Louis holds tight to his t-shirt, face pressed into the material as he bites back sobs.

"Shut-up, Lou. Babes, look at me, yeah?" Zayn says softly, drawing Louis' face away from him once he's stopped heaving. He strokes the stray tears out from under Louis' eyes, pushes his hair back of his face and presses a delicate kiss to his forehead. "You're going to be incredible, Louis. Shit you haven't shut up about today for a month because we're this," Zayn holds his forefinger and thumb a few millimetres apart, "far away. They'll love you and you'll love them, Lou." He says it with so much sincerity Louis sobs out a laugh, wiping his sweater sleeve across his face and leaning back into Zayn's chest, letting himself be petted and touched and loved until the tears on his face are dry and he's smiling into Zayn's neck.

"I'm excited, Zaynie." Louis says softly. Zayn smiles at that, eyes crinkling in the corners and thumbs over the corner of Louis' lips. Louis brings his hand up, curling his fingers in between Zayn's and tugging him down so he's sat beside Louis on the floor, hand in hand and back pressed to the cold grey wall behind them. They stare at the wall for five minutes, Louis' head on Zayn's shoulder as he tells Zayn about all the places he wants to put photo frames of the kids. Zayn indulges himself in Louis, lets him blabber on about paint colours and photo frames until they hear a sudden knock at the door.

"Holy shit is it 10 already?" Zayn hisses, suddenly leaping to his feet. Louis grins, holding a hand up at Zayn who grips tightly and tugs him up into a quick hug. "One more step, Lou. Then we're done." 

"One more step." Louis parrots, kissing Zayn on the cheek and fixing his hair as Zayn makes his way to the front door. When he creeps out to the front foyer he sees Zayn has already invited the home study inspectors inside. He fixes his fringe a final time, holding his hand out at the first man he sees, introducing himself.

"Zayn has just been telling you how excited you both are. We're very glad you've chosen to adopt, Mr Tomlinson. Adelae and Dylan are very excited to see their new dads in a few days I can assure you." The man, who has introduced himself as Alexander, smiles, clapping his hand to the back of Louis' and positively beaming. His happiness is contagious and Louis finds himself smiling broadly, pressing his palm to his eyes should the tears at the back of his eyes threaten to well.

Zayn wraps his arm around Louis' waist, hand resting comfortingly on Louis' hip as Alexander drops Louis' hand and instead points to the other man who's walked in with him.

"This is Isaac, he'll be helping me with the inspection today. It's okay, though, I'm sure the house is impeccable." Isaac pulls a clipboard out of his bag, tucking it under his arm and reaching forward to shake both Zayn and Louis' hands firmly.

"This is the final step, boys. So far the house looks fine so we have very high hopes. We'll mostly just check out a few rooms, make sure you've got the necessary starting things like bedding and adequate facilities like a suitable bathroom and mostly working kitchen etcetera. We understand you had your preliminary inspection a matter of months ago and our records show that was pretty much a clean slate so if you don't mind we'll just start the brief final inspection now." Isaac says, smiling with a closed mouth as he pulls a pen out of his breast pocket.

•••

When Isaac and Alexander leave half an hour later, Louis almost cries with relief. 

"When did they say?" Louis whispers once Zayn has shut the door behind the men. Zayn pushes his hair off his forehead, making his way over to Louis and beginning to unbutton the shirt he had put on for the inspection.

"Saturday. So not tomorrow but the day after, babes." Louis does cry then, collapsing into Zayn's chest and curling his arms up between them to hold Zayn's now bare chest.

"Two days." Louis says softly. It goes by quicker than expected.

•••

"You have one, two, three seat belts in the back." Adelae chatters as she climbs into the car. Louis smiles fondly, lifting the buckles out of her car seat as she sits down on it. On the other side of the car Zayn Is doing the same thing and he looks up for a moment to see the concentrated pinch of Zayn's eyebrows as he clips Dylan in and then the softness to his face when Dylan kicks his feet out and accidentally smacks his fist against Zayn's face in excitement.

Louis didn't expect it to go well in all honesty. Showing up at the children's home he expected tears and fear and dread but Adelae had been more than happy to take Louis' hand as he lead her out to Zayn's car, followed shortly by Zayn, Dylan held tight to his side.

They'd met just twice before, once when Zayn and Louis had made their first trip to the home and a second time when they'd sat down and explained as best they could to a one and a half and four year old that they were maybe going to be going home with them soon.

Soon had arrived.

"Good counting!" Louis says enthusiastically, watching Adelae fiddle with the buckles before he reaches over and clips her in. Dylan watches with bright eyes and a toothless smile, throwing his rice stick at Louis who ducks before it hits him. He lets out a squeal of excitement as Zayn shuts the car door next to him and makes his way to the driver's seat for, what will hopefully be, their last journey from the home.

"All ready to go!" Louis double checks both seatbelts, clicking Adele's extra tight for a final time and checking the boot of the car has everything.

"Ready to rock and roll." Zayn grins, kissing Louis across the middle of the car when he climbs into the passenger seat. It's much to the amusement of Dylan who screeches a final time before occupying himself with trying to reach for his lost rice stick.

"I like that." Adelae says simply, hands folded neatly in her lap. Louis reaches back behind his seat to rest his hand on her leg for a moment when Zayn starts the car, smiling softly at her in the rearview mirror where she gives him a thumbs up and strokes her fingers across the back of Louis' hand with a kind of softness not found in adults

"Yeah?" Zayn smirks, hands resting easily on the steering wheel. He fiddles with a few of the buttons on the dashboard until there's music playing properly and he watches Dylan fall asleep in the back seat.

"Yeah, good." Louis turns back around in his seat as they pull onto a motorway, turning the volume of the music down a bit lower. He can see Adelae in the reflection of his window, sees her bob her head in time with the music and wiggle around in her seat when Zayn turns it defiantly back up a notch. Louis promised himself he would try not to cry but when Zayn lets one hand go of the steering wheel and instead laces his fingers with Louis' in his lap he finds it very hard to do so.

•••

"Dylan that's Adelaes. You're ones over there." Zayn laughs, watching Dylan try to fling himself on top of Adelaes bed. He's largely unsuccessful, swaying dangerously on his feet until Louis crouches down beside him and gives him a boost-up, sending him head first into the soft mattress. He lets out a viciously giggle, turning around and holding out his hand to Louis.

Zayn watches from the doorway, sees Louis tug him to his feet and keep him safe while he bounces on the bed. Adelae returns from the bathroom a few moments later, wordlessly slipping her hand into Zayn's and leaning against his leg to watch as well. 

The first night is bad from there-on. Louis wakes up at midnight to find Adelae standing at the bottom of his bed, clutching her teddy from the home to her chest. He invites her into his bed, watching Zayn roll unsuspectingly over so his back is to the both of them. He strokes her curly hair until she's a loose ball against his chest and then throws the spare blanket over the both of them, promising everything is going to be okay. He takes her into the living room, setting her down on the couch and playing Cinderella, a known favourite of Adelaes, on low volume until she drifts to sleep with her thumb in her mouth somewhere near 1am.

He takes her back to bed a half hour later when the credits start rolling, tucking her sheets up to her chin and pressing tiny kisses to her eyelids, heart wilting when she mewls in her sleep. He can feel Dylan watching from the other side of the room, hears the slow suck of his dummy and the rustle of sheets as he hauls himself up to stare at Louis. 

He lets it slide, walking out of the bedroom and is halfway to his own when he hears Dylan let out an "ah".

He keeps walking, shaking Zayn awake with tired eyes and a yawn to tell him Dylan has woken up. Zany's not quick to get out of bed, fists rubbing his eyes before he presses a prickly kiss to Louis' cheek and tells him to get some sleep.

He's out within a minute, lulled to sleep by the soft whisper of Zayn's voice down the corridor and the hum of a lullaby he can hear through the baby monitor.

•••

Two weeks later it's a brilliant Autumn day, the last before Winter hits and they'll replace their light coats for heavy jackets and expect slushy snow in the windowsill every morning. Dylan finds the fallen leaves to be fascinating, throwing fistfuls of them at Zayn before he gets it in his eye and Louis decides the fun needs to stop as he carries the screaming toddler inside. Adelae is waiting patiently in the kitchen, hands covered in marker as she scribbles in a colouring book. She looks up as he enters, Zayn following sheepishly in tow from their backyard.

"What happened?" She asks, brown eyes full of concern. She hops off her stool, making her way over to Dylan and holding his foot in what Louis knows now to be a hopefully comforting gesture. Dylan cries down at her, eyes empty of tears even though he wails like he's in pain.

Louis makes sure to check but decides whatever was in his eye has left and Dylan is just crying because he is either tired or hungry or both.

"Do you want a juice, princess?" Zayn asks, shutting the door he had accidentally left open as a cold breeze sweeps through the house. She nods, climbing back up onto her stool once Louis sets Dylan back down on the ground. 

"Dad wants one too, please." Louis laughs, setting down beside Adelae as Dylan busies himself playing with the doorstop by his feet. Zayn rolls his eyes at him before Louis lets out a final _pleeease_ and he sends a sly wink his way before hauling the fridge door open and pulling out a carton of orange juice.

"No gooey bits?" Adelae asks, closing her colouring book and pushing her markers aside. Zayn shakes his head with a small smile, pushing forward a sippy cup that Adelae accepts gratefully.

There's a refreshing silence for a few moments before Adelae very formally clears her throat and beckons Zayn forward. He leans against the counter in front of her, chin resting in his hands. Louis sets his drink down, turning to make sure Dylan was okay before giving Adelae his full attention.

"Yes, princess?" Louis expects a kids question. Maybe something like "Why aren't there dinosaurs" or "How are chickens made".

"How come I'm a different colour?" She asks it with a smile on her face, sippy cup held tight in her hands and little legs swinging on her stool. Zayn lets out a little _ahhh_ , looking to Louis for help. Before Louis can say anything, Adelae starts up again. "I like it. Like me and Da." She positively beams, accepting the high-five Zayn offers her. Louis feels the worrying crush of explaining race and differences in his chest simmer down until it's a healthy little garden and explains everything he can to Adelae, reminding her time and time again that she is beautiful until she yells at him that "Everyone ever is always beautiful, Da tells me that all the time, Dad!"

"Well okay then." Louis laughs, pressing a kiss to her forehead and carding his fingers through her hair. He hops off his stool to let her and Zayn talk, picking Dylan up on his way to answer a knock at the door. Dylan presses sticky fingers to his face, shoving his hand in Louis' mouth and crying "Daaaaaada" before Louis tickles his tummy and he pulls away with a cackle of a laugh.

When he hauls the door open he sees Liam and for a moment he wonders if he forgot that they had organised a game day. Then Liam's eyes begin to glimmer and he lowers his fist from where he had been about to knock again, surging forward to make a face at Dylan.

"Wow, nice of you to let us know." Louis says sarcastically, pulling him in for a hug and pressing his face into the crook of Liam's neck as he transfers the toddler over to him.

"You love my surprise visits, Lou." Liam says, throwing Dylan up into the air to earn himself a delighted screech of laughter.

"Payno?" They bother hear Zayn call from the kitchen. Liam calls back, setting Dylan down on the floor and holding his hand. They walk like that all the way to the kitchen, the usually ten second journey taking over a minute as Dylan toddles his way over the slippery wooden floors. Adelae claps her hands when she sees him, falling off her stool and looking up at him on her tummy with a quivering lip and a fresh well of tears in her eyes.

"Oh bub." Liam sympathises, dropping Dylans hand and rushing over to Adelae as she lets out a scream of a cry. He bundles her up quickly, pulling her into his chest and asking where it hurts. 

"Always a pleasure having you here." Louis again says sarcastically as Dylan too begins to cry by his feet.

•••

Liam drops in for a few more visits after that, trudging through the sleet and rain to come and see the kids as often as he can. Sometimes he brings his flatmate, Niall, with him, who insist on holding Dylan but was thoroughly banned after the baby fell asleep with its neck hanging over the edge of the sofa. Most times he brings Harry, a personal favourite friend of Zayn's who is quick to offer babysitting and nannying should they ever want to get away, and who always holds the kids correctly.

That winter is sluggish but Louis enrols Adelae into their local school for the last few weeks of term and helps her to orientation with a little black lunchbox and fluffy yellow jacket in tow. She insists she looks like a duck, teaching Dylan to jump into the muddy sludge puddles outside, quacking away as she slips her coat around his shoulders and tells him he needs a coat to be a duck but she doesn't. They squelch around in their wellies until Zayn gets up from where he had been sitting on the back porch and tells them to come inside if they want dinner.

"What if we don't come inside?" Adelae asks, Dylan letting out a deviant "yeah" as they both rock forward on the balls of their feet in the puddle. Zayn crosses his arms, fake pouting.

"Do you not like mine and dads cooking?" He says, looking down at the ground until he hears Adelae let out a sigh and feels the porch steps creek as she climbs hand in hand with Dylan up them. He calls it a minor victory, throwing them both over his shoulders and carrying them inside.

•••

"Dad can boys wear dresses?" Adelae asks once Christmas is starting to creep up on them. They're sat at a nice Italian restaurant down the road, celebrating a solid six months of adoption like it's their wedding anniversary, with four bowls of ice cream and soft drinks all round although they settled on carbonated water for Dylan and watered down sprite for Adelae.

"Yep." Louis says simply, leg bumping against Zayn's under the table.

"Can we buy one for Dylan for Christmas?" Louis answers exactly the same, asking her what she thinks she'd like to buy him. "One with a movie on it. Can we put Cinderella on it?" There's a sparkle to her eyes and Zayn and Louis find it hard to say no.

Dylan is ecstatic when he rips the wrapping paper off the dress on Christmas day, Zayn's hand resting at the small of Louis' back as they all gather around the Christmas tree, friends in tow.

"Wow-ee, look at that!" Harry cheers, crouching down to help tug the dress over Dylans little romper. Adelae lets out a cry of happiness, hauling Dylan to his feet and making them both dance around the tree. 

It's perfect. Louis would bottle it if he could, file it under "Happy Family" and bury it in the file of dreams he once thought would never come true.

**Author's Note:**

> Really not my best work and I do apologise, just been struggling recently but I hope I made you happy!!


End file.
